Monday, May 16, 2011
Week 12, May 16-22, Last Week
Over the years of my working with students, one of the lifetime goals most mentioned is "happiness." I worry about happiness goals because I'm not sure if we know what happiness is or when we have accomplished this goal. I just read a book on the topic, Authentic Happiness, by Martin Seligman. He is a psychologist who actually teaches college courses on this topic. The following are some excerpts from his text. Please read these excerpts, think about them and add your comments.
Excerpts from Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman:
Real happiness comes from identifying, cultivating and using your personal strengths in work, love, play and parenting. Seligman contrasts happiness with hedonism. He says that a hedonist "wants as many good moments and as few bad moments as possible in life." He states that hedonism is a shortcut to happiness that leaves us feeling empty. For example, we often assume that more material possessions will make us happy. However, the more material possessions we have, the greater the expectations and we no longer appreciate what we have.
Seligman suggests some ideas to increase happiness. 1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities. 2. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events. 3. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting. 4. Work on increasing optimism and hope for the future. 5. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. 6. Take the time to savor the happy times. 7. Take time to enjoy the present moment. 8. Build more flow into your life. Flow is the state of gratification we feel when totally absorbed in an activity that matches our strengths.
Write your comments on these ideas. What does happiness mean to you?
Share some of your intention statements for the future. You can make two posts of 100 words each or one post of 200 words.
I have enjoyed reading all your blogs this semester. Best wishes for the future!
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Seligman's ideas about happiness are great ways that can put us on a path for happiness. The ideas presented are some of the best ways we can achieve happiness and to live great lives. But I don't think happiness should be this hard to figure out. It seems like happiness is hard to find for most people. Happiness isn't something you should have to think about or consider. Happiness is being yourself, having as much fun as possible, being as kind as possible to everyone, savoring good friends and experiences, and pursuing your interests. I truly believe these are the only things you need to be happy. Of course I'm not limiting myself to these factors, but it will provide a strong base of happiness which will branch guaranteed. To me happiness means living the life I have to the fullest. I believe everyone knows how to live a full life as well. The reason people aren't living happy lives, is because their surroundings. I believe all humans start as happy and loving people. We are all searching for love, acceptance, and peace. Our world corrupts the natural happiness that we were all supposed to have. If we can fight off the negative, I believe the kindness, friends, experiences, and interests will all come naturally. If your looking for happiness and don't want to read a long book on how to be happy follow these guidelines that I try to live out everyday: 1. Have as much fun as possible 2. Always be kind 3. Make good friends 4. Search for good experiences 5. Pursue you interests. I could ramble on all day about happiness and how to find it, but I simply can't. It was a true gift to be able to read all of your unique responses. Good luck to everyone and their futures!
ReplyDeleteI personally believe that some of the ideas that Saligman mentioned were actually great ones that a person can take into consideration to have prospering happiness in their lives,or better yet try to increase it or learn to be happy. I can say that my idea of happiness can come from the few that Saligman stated in his book.But personally I believe that each individual is unique and we all have our own idea of what our happiness is..not everyone experience a certain trouble that another individual expereiences ,sometimes that individual just never goes through a certain trauma,for example,in life. For instance a different culture can cause you to live a different lifestyle..so everybody desires a certain deffinition of what their own happiness can be. Learning to live and accepting what life has brought me in the moment of time that I stand on helps me be happy.understanding my life will always be full of surprises makes me happy. Being healthy makes me happy. There are many things in life that make me happy,but having what can be close to a perfect happiness for me is even ten times better. For instance, me growing old with my husband and being able to say that I've been married 50 years of my life to this man..is just a great happiness within me. Happiness should be easy to get if you take life and learn to accept it by making the best of every teeny tiny bit of it.even when the situation is horrible at hand always look for the positives,there will always be one. You can always smile even when you think lives too tough to smile,you just have to learn to be thankful and see the beautiful out of everything that passes you by!
ReplyDeleteI hope everybody has a great future!!! Be happy and goodluck to you all!!
For me, happiness involves managing my ego and my fears. Having regrets or worrying about the future doesn’t change what will happen. It just gets in the way of what is going on now. It takes lots of practice, daily, to recognize when your ego has taken over, and then push it aside. I think it is the number one enemy.
ReplyDeletePatience and compassion are something I plan to include in my daily routine. I will try to regularly remind myself that it is sometimes right to be wrong. It’s important to help others. I want to do more volunteer work.
I intend to chart a plan to lose 10 pounds with better eating habits and an exercise routine. As well, I will continue to work on my positive thinking habits and stay focused on the good stuff rather than getting caught up with attention to negative aspects that can always be found if you’re looking. I will review my goals and maintain my focus.
I intend to find my passion! At least, I will be passionate about the things I do, including spending time with family and friends and always finding time for me.
I intend to laugh and enjoy the journey.
Thank you, Ms. Fralick, for the wonderful course!!
Susan Barclay
What does happiness mean to you?
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger happiness meant having it all, the house, the car, friends, the perfect husband, items of value and money in the bank. I’ve had all of that and it wasn’t happiness. I missed out on a lot because I had to work, very hard, to obtain these things. I lost sight of who I was and what I really wanted out of life and keeping up with the “Johnson” really was not that important to me. Now that I’m older I realize that happiness is being mentally and physically healthy, enjoying life and what it has to offer and looking forward to the future because it will bring nothing but good will. Having true friends that will stick with you through thick and thin, blood and tears these are the people that you want to cherish and keep close to your heart. Happiness is waking up at the crack of dawn, drinking a great cup of coffee and knowing that in that minute, in my neck of the woods, there is no violence, for only a flicker of a moment, there is peace.
Janine Woolard
In my perspective, happiness means being grateful for all the things that you were granted with and a sense of fulfillment. When I have made someone else's life better, helped someone in need, or done something special for the people that I love dearly, they look up to me and respects me for who I am. We must feel that our freedom to explore our spiritual growth and wealth are the important keys to happiness. We have to realize that our past doesn't determine the future that lies ahead of you. We work on increasing optimism and hope for the future. We build more flow into our lives because it's the state of gratification that we feel, when we get totally absorbed in physical activities that matches our greatest strengths. However, most people feel that happiness is increased by having things that could increase your pride and ego. For instance, they feel that they need fame, fortune, money, and power. They cherish them and it could end up being an obsession, which will lead to their downfall. I don't see myself going down that road at all. I intend to commit to accomplishing my goals and have good circumstances that could help my career, in the long run. More importantly, I intend to express my gratitude towards my family and friends, who have been a positive contribution throughout my life.
ReplyDeleteSeligman’s ideas that he suggests to increase happiness are great tools to go along with to ensure a happy life and being. Everything that he talks about from realizing that the past does not determine your future or taking the time to savor the happy times are really important things to think about whenever we are questioning ways to become happier in our lives. We can’t dwell on the past mistakes we made or focus too much on the changes we could of made. We need to just move on to our path rather just stopping on that part in our life because doing so will stop us from reaching our future. With everything going on in our lives from work or school, we have to stop and enjoy the things around us when things are going too fast to see what were doing. This is something that everyone can definitely relate to because we all at some point in or lives forget to appreciate some of the good things happening on our lives because of all the chaos around us. This is when we need to enjoy the present moment. Another step that Seligman suggested was finding out activities that make us happy and doing them. We need to have something in our lives that we do that makes us happy, apart from the things that we need to do and may not absolutely love. Such as going to class late at night to finish school quickly or working that awful job that pays for our food. Reading about all the things we can do to ensure our happiness in life really makes me think about what happiness means to me. I think it means doing things that we don’t always love but we know that we must do it to reach the main goal in our life, like me doing all these classes so that I can graduate early and move on to the steps of becoming a lawyer. It also means surrounding myself with positive people and those whom I love. It’s important to me that I always have this loving relationships with the people I’m around because I know that they’ll always be there for me!
ReplyDeleteThank you Ms. Fralick for being a great teacher, even if I never got to meet you! You made this a great experience of taking online courses. I have to say I was skeptical about how much I could learn through an online course, but you definitely proved me wrong! I learned so much about such important things that are going to alter my future in a great way! I feel like you've given me the tools to make better decisions on my academic work and have made me more sure about what I'm going to do with my future!
ReplyDeleteThank you again! :)
Sincerely,
Ashley Lopez
Seligman suggests some ideas to increase happiness. 1. Realize that the past does not determine your future. The future is open to possibilities. 2. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events. 3. Build positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting. 4. Work on increasing optimism and hope for the future. 5. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. 6. Take the time to savor the happy times. 7. Take time to enjoy the present moment. 8. Build more flow into your life. Flow is the state of gratification we feel when totally absorbed in an activity that matches our strengths.
ReplyDeleteOne of the most powerful statements for me is, “Life is Good.” It is a motto I live by. It reminds me of how important it is to keep a positive attitude and look forward, not back. You can choose to stay connected to events or people that remind you of what you lack or how things could be different. But ultimately that gets you nowhere and bitter, fast. With out the ability to enjoy all life brings you unhappiness will be your lifelong companion. It is important to realize the past is over as soon as it happens if you live with a sense on honesty. Even large , destructive things grow less important in the distance. While little things that seem huge can be put into perspective by asking yourself,” Will this matter or will I even remember it in 5 years?” But the future always holds the promise of change because nothing in life is stagnant. In moments of great tragedy, a strong sense of positive outlook helps people to move forward. Often bringing together strangers to assist and support those effected. Regardless of appearance, economics or locale. I’m just saying I think it’s really important to focus on all of the great things life has to offer. It will make great memories with lots of new experiences that will last. It will also increase your enjoyment of life, experiences of love, relationships with family and friends and career choices. Which will offer a satisfying flow to your life and a great sense of accomplishment when you reflect on how successful you were in navagating it.
I cannot thank you enough, Professor Fralick for all of the insight I gained in this class. It has really made me focus on how I learn, what works best, and how to adapt to different teaching styles and subjects. I even changed my study area and haibts and do better as a result. Most of all it reminded me of how important my education was to me and how important my career goals are.All an added bonus along with all of the communication interaction that I have gained and put to good use. I will carry it forward. Thank you, again.
ReplyDeleteBuilding positive emotions through forgiving and forgetting is the best thing anyone can do. Because if you dont forgive you will be holding that grudge or dislike feeling you have inside that's preventing you from forgiving that person. And the only one thats hurting is yourself, because you hold too much anger or resentment which is hurting your health and is stopping you from enjoying your life. And the best way to prevent that is to forgive and especially forget about everything that hurts you in life, but always do learn from it for future prefrences and also future experiences. And always keep in mind positive things when it comes to forgiving and forgetting.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes down to a day when you get bored or have nothing to do. Look and find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. And spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. Like the activity that makes me happy is baking. I love baking because it helps me be creative and also helps me relax. Which is a trait that I love about myself is that I like creating new things and also explore new things that I myself didn't now I could create. And for sure i will not get bored at baking because its a hobby thats lets you be creative your way.
ReplyDeleteI like the suggestions given by Martin Seligman to increase happiness. I read each of his 8 suggestions and I thought about how I can apply it to my life. A lot of people live unhappy lives and continue to live them because they live in the past. For 5 years of my life I could say the same. I was unhappy with my life and I never saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I was only 21 and I lacked the motivation to succeed in school and in my relationships. I constantly thought about all the negative times in my life instead of blocking them out. It was not until the beginning of this year where a light just clicked in my head and I woke up from a 5 year nap. I realized my life had stalled and I needed to make something of myself. I thought about my past and would not let it determine my future. I stopped thinking negatively and began appreciating the events that helped forge me as a man. I could probably find more activities to engage in for mental and physical health and happiness. I haven't went on a relaxing vacation for years now and could use one just to get away. I also have been meaning to go hiking more often on trails that lead to lakes because I have been meaning to go cliff jumping for quite some time now. Thinking about these activities makes me happy but actually doing them is on another level.
ReplyDeleteAfter this week I will have put in more effort this semester towards school than I ever have in my entire college career and I couldn't feel better about it. I feel like I have a sense of purpose now and that I am on the right path. This is happiness to me. My life is heading in the right direction and I cannot be more thrilled about it.
To me, happiness means to he completely happy about every aspect of my life. I want to love what I do and be passionate about it. I don't want to have to call it "work." I wan't to have a family. I want to finish school and move to New York. I have many plans in my lifetime, and being happy is very important to me. I am going to start exercising regularly and eating a healthier diet. I want to travel while I'm young and explore what the world has to offer. I want to start volunteering and helping others and feel good about myself. I feel like this class has really helped me realize what I want to do and help me focus on my priorities. I really enjoyed this class and feel like it was a definite positive thing to have.
ReplyDeleteI don’t know any person around me who doesn’t desire happiness and I can really appreciate what Martin Seligman writes. Real happiness comes from…identifying, cultivating and using one’s own personal strength in work, love, play and parenting. And it is so true that most of us can try to make ourselves happy with temporary “fixes”.
ReplyDeleteThe suggestions Seligman makes are very important and valid. I especially appreciate what he says about the past not determining the future and that the future is open to possibilities! This statement is so true and important to grasp. It seems so much easier to think about the bad events in our past rather than the good events. Life is too short to be focusing on the negatives in the past. It truly is important to be grateful for the good times in your past allowing us freedom to enjoy the present day.
I also agree that forgiveness and forgetting permits positive emotions. As a Christian forgiveness is a huge part of obedience to God and his Word. The reason forgiveness is so important is so that we can experience a happy, healthy life filled with peace.
When I think about what makes me happy I chuckle. I chuckle because what makes me happy doesn’t always make my husband happy. I love to go shopping at the mall, eating healthy organic foods, and girly things. What makes my husband happy is, fast cars, car shows and man talk. Shopping at the mall for me is so much fun! Shopping at the mall for my husband is not so fun!
What’s most important here is for both my husband and I to savor the happy times and enjoy the present moments, whether they are in the mall or at a race track allowing more flow in our lives.
I believe Seligman is correct in the sense of expectations become far greater once we begin to obtain a lot of material possessions. As material possessions are in no way, shape or form a bad thing, as humans we do tend to take some things for granted. He also mentions that happiness comes from identifying and using the things you love and enjoy doing in life. This could involve anything from spending time with the people you love and taking the time out of your day to stare at the clouds. Happiness comes from doing things that your soul appreciates and sometimes from trying new things with those who are most special to you in life.
ReplyDeleteSeligman is absolutely right about all of his points to maintaining happiness. Forgetting about the negative events in your past and understanding that they don't necessarily have to play a role in your future are key ideas to understand and will help you move forward in life with confidence and happiness. You make your future; nothing that has happened in your life has to bring you down. Everything should be taken as a learning experience. And although some negative incidents should be left behind, it is important to be able to use some of them to motivate you and make you strive to be successful and making a positive out a once was negative situation.
ReplyDeleteDr. Fralick,
ReplyDeleteMy email account for some reason isn't working tonight and I wanted to make sure I contacted you before yo finalized your grading. I just wanted to make sure you you haven't gone through the blog for week 10 yet. I having received credit for that blog yet and I just wanted to make sure you notice them.
Thank you for everything and hope to hear from you frequently.
Anthony Peterson
Happiness can mean many things to many people. And we're fortunate that happiness comes in so many shapes and forms and can be experienced throughout the day, all day, every day.
ReplyDeleteSeligman’s suggestions of happiness are two-fold: they provide instant gratification as well as build a solid foundation within the person. Ultimately, his view on happiness requires that we see a moment in the larger context of our lives. Personally, I love this concept. Life is made up of so many moments, it would benefit us to see each one as a learning experience, a possibility to grow and develop.
His suggestions focus on the positive in life. Positive thoughts that are uplifting and provide hope for the next moment. Such a view embraces the next possibility rather than cower from it.
The concept of flow is new to me, but I could completely relate to it. “Time flies when you’re having fun.” That is, essentially, flow. While he will reference work when discussing flow, I’m glad that I feel a sense of flow in both my career and social life. My wife always says I’m nostalgic for moments that have just past and for moments that haven’t even happened yet, but I like to think that is because they are all just moments, fleeting moments, that will be gone all too quickly. I want to hold on to everyone one of them…
I really appreciate this class for holding up a mirror and reflecting what its students are like and how we can improve and maximize our abilities. I look forward to putting these thoughts into action!
I personally believe that Seligman's ideas to increase happiness are achieveable. Who doesn't want to be happy? I know I do.
ReplyDeleteFor me based on his suggestions the ones I need to focus on are:
2. Be grateful for the good events of the past and place less emphasis on the bad events. - For me I tend to place emphasis on events in my past that were hurtful and carry them along with me as I go on with my life and it tends to keep the good out. I've felt myself feeling down even when positive things are going on around me and being that way isn't making me happy at all.
I intend to place less emphasis on bad events and just learn from them but move on and focus on the positive events going on in my life.
5. Find out what activities make you happy and engage in them. Spread these activities out over time so that you will not get tired of them. - Until recently I was always used to going out with the same “friend” who was the person who ended up hurting me the most. After that I closed myself up and I stopped going out and just became a home body. Thankfully I've started going to the gym and taking group exercise classes which really keeps me active and positive about myself. Now I am looking into getting involved with a group at church that goes out and volunteers in the community and I am looking forward to it.
I intend to keep participating in different activities both at the gym and outside to really keep myself positive and see all the things I am capable of accomplishing.
7. Take time to enjoy the present moment. - I've always been one to focuse too much about the past. I really need to stop, breath, and really focus on what's going on right now and enjoy what is happening in the moment as it happens.
I intend to focus on enjoying things in present time and not put any mind into things that have already happened and there's no need to think about.
Overall I have taken a lot from all of Seligman's suggestions to increase happiness but the one's above are the one's I really need to focus on to really be happy and keep being the person I am and those who know me love.
Thank you Professor Fralick for all your support and dedication to your students and this wonderful course. I truly recommend it to those who need a boost with important decisions in college and their career.
happiness means the world to me. happiness is not something youy can go and buy, it is priceless. i love being with my family and friends because they make me happy.i think your family and friends can make you happy when youre feeling down. i noticed that when i talk negative to myself i feel so unhappy. so now i decided to change my behavior and always talk positive to myself.i agree with seligman alot becase he said that the past does not determine your future.and that there are many possibilities open for you in the future. so i believe that we should all stop regretting about our past and just move on. and lets just work on building our future. Because of this class I learned to forget my past and forgive the people that have hurt me by keeping myself busy with things i like .being in shape also makes me happy. i would also love to have a good paying job where i can share with my family . instead of just using it all on me .
ReplyDeleteIt was really great working with all of you guys. lets not give up and just move on to our future. wishing you all a happy summer!!!